Love?

I know I'm a little delayed but I started writing this and figured I'd share it on here.

February 14th, Valentines Day.
For most: date night, chocolates, flowers, cheesy gifts, romance.
For me: stupid, stupid, corporate consumerist scheme, stupid.
I suppose that could just be me playing the part of bitter singleton to a perfect t. But I think it's more that a part of me doesn't believe in love. I don't believe in love at first sight, soul mates, or falling head over heels despite movies and novels trying their damnedest to persuade me otherwise. Even if they did exist, I don't believe that they last. I've seen so many professing undying love only for it to end with utter indifference or downright hatred. Every time I see this happen, my faith in this "love" that everyone rants and raves about dies a little more.
Yet I find myself absolutely terrified that I'll never find this thing that I don't even believe in. I'm scared that I'll end up dying alone never truly knowing whether or not love is out there. I've tried to convince myself that I'm resigned to my unavoidable fate. But the truth is, while I'm sure it's going to end up that way, I'm also scared that it will.
But I guess this is just being human, living in constant state of hypocritical dichotomy.